Day 15 - Great Expectations

I have very high expectations for myself, my kids, and my husband. Actually I have high expectations for everything in my life. Lately I have been suffering from a dilemma. Often, having high expectations means being disappointed when you or those around you don't meet them. So is it better to keep those expectations or should they be lowered?

I don't think my expectations are unreasonable. Is is unreasonable to expect my kids who are 8 & 11 to clean up after themselves and leave the common areas of the house looking neat? Is it unreasonable to expect my husband to do the dishes without my having to ask? These seem like such small things to expect. Now I know that many of you ladies are thinking that we all want that from our husbands, but they just aren't wired to do it. Really? That's a reason? To be honest, the reason that I expect it is because my husband is really a great guy. He isn't the kind to think the "little woman" should do all the housework, he really does his share. But he doesn't usually do it unless I ask or put it on his to do list, which always makes me feel like a nag.

I expect my husband to be romantic because sometimes he is. Then sometimes he does things like getting me absolutely nothing for our anniversary - not even a card. When he does stuff like that I feel a crushing disappointment because I was expecting something to recognize our special day. So do I lower my expectations in order to avoid disappointment? Should I expect nothing and then be surprised and pleased when he gets me a card?

You see, I'm really struggling with this. Should I lower my expectations and be grateful for what I have, essentially settling for less, or should I keep my expectations high and demand better?

I know this post isn't very joyful. We all have our down days and as I've mentioned before, it's okay. I'll do better tomorrow.

Day 14 - Music Lifts the Soul

So I am late (again) with my post because I spent all night working on the playlists for my iPhone. I got a new computer a few weeks back, and had to transfer my music over and create new playlists. I can't believe how much time I spent creating playlists, but it really made me happy. Here are some great songs that will make you feel like dancing and smiling. (Warning: they are not all PG rated)

It's a Great Day - Travis Tritt
Yeah - Usher
Attitude - Wynona Judd
The Power - Snap!
The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson
Flashdance - Irene Cara
Gonna Make You Sweat - C+C Music Factory
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
I'm Every Woman - Chaka Khan
Wipeout - from Dirty Dancing Soundtrack
I Like it Like That - Tito Nieves
Boogie Shoes - KC and the Sunshine Band

Feel free to comment and add songs that lift you up!

Day 13 - How Full is Your Bucket?

So I am a day late again because I was out late last night with my ladies group. It was supposed to be our book club meeting, but we usually don't spend much time talking about the book. Instead we share stories about our lives, cheer each other's accomplishments, and support those that are having difficult times. Even though we don't follow a traditional book club format, I love these meetings. They are always bucket-filling.

Not sure what that means? I'm not sure who started it, but the concept is that we all walk around with an invisible bucket and dipper. When we are surrounded by positive energy, our bucket fills up. When we are exposed to negativity, our bucket is emptied. Positive people are bucket fillers, and negative people are bucket dippers. What is even more interesting, is that when you dip into some one's bucket with a negative emotion, you also dip into your own, but when you fill some one's bucket you fill your own. The idea is that positive energy breeds positive energy and negative energy breeds negative energy. There are several books about it. I'm reading How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath, but a great kids book is Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud. My daughter's counselor read it to her and it had such an impact on her that I had to read it myself.

It's pretty easy to be a bucket filler. Kindness is the main key. By being kind to people and authentically acknowledging their strengths with compliments will fill their buckets. However, it's not so easy to keep from being a bucket dipper. You have to be conscious of everything you say and do. Unkind words, impatient words, and negativity can empty a person's bucket.

My husband fills my bucket when he does little things around the house without my asking for it. He empties my bucket when he chooses work over family time. I fill my kids buckets when I compliment them. I dip into their buckets when I am impatient with them. Unfortunately, my family seems to have an even ratio of bucket filling and dipping, when you should actually have a ratio of 5 positives to every one negative.

To bring myself and my family more joy, I am pledging to start filling more buckets. It is so easy for us to nitpick and point out the things that aren't working, but I am resolving to end that horrible cycle. I plan to make a conscious effort to dole out more compliments and focus on all the good things that my family brings to me.

Have you filled a bucket today?

Day 12 - Time for Rest

I am late posting my day 12 blog because I took a nap yesterday. It was a wonderful luxury. Every once in a while, I need to do something to rejuvenate my energy, and a nap was just the ticket. Fortunately, my kids are at an age where they do not constantly need my supervision, so I can nap in peace (although a part of me can still hear them).

I don't have much to say about my nap. I highly recommend that everyone take a nap when they are feeling a bit blah. I woke up feeling a bit more refreshed and ready to deal with the daily issues of life.

So take a moment for yourself this week. Don't feel guilt about it. Relax. Enjoy. Rejuvenate.

Day 11 - God Bless America

This week I have been reading the book The Librarian of Basra to my students. It is based on a true story about Alia Muhammad Baker, a librarian in Basra, Iraq who saved the library books from being destroyed by the war. It is an inspirational story, and my students are amazed at the bravery of this one librarian. We calculated that if she had used backpacks to transport all the books of the library, she would have needed 3,750 backpacks!

As I read this book and discuss it with my students, I can't help but feel grateful that I live in America. Not everything is perfect, but I have so many more advantages here than I would have had in other countries. As a woman in America, my opportunities are limitless. In America, your dreams can come true if you are willing to work hard enough. Our government is a true democracy, where we actually vote for the leaders of our country without fear. Most of us live very comfortable lives, with houses to shelter us and enough food to eat. We have clean water with just the turn of a handle. There are so many great things about my country, and I'm proud to be an American.

Day 10 - An Attitude of Gratitude

It's day 10 of my 100 days of joy and I'm going to count my blessings. 10 things that I'm grateful for:

1. My husband
2. My son
3. My daughter
4. My family
5. A healthy body
6. Sunny days with blue skies
7. Moonlight
8. A job that is fulfilling and rewarding
9. Trees - for both their beauty and the oxygen they give us
10. Chocolate

What 10 things are you grateful for?

Day 9 - Angels

I have always loved the TV show Touched by an Angel. Lately, the Hallmark channel has been playing three episodes a night and I have become obsessed. I am not an overly religious person, but I would like to believe that there are angels walking amongst us humans. Isn't it a lovely thought? No matter what you believe, the idea that humans are so precious to the creator that he sends angels to help them makes me feel cherished.

I love the overlying message in Touched by an Angel. God created you. God loves you. You are special and beloved. I just can't seem to get enough of hearing that. What a beautiful thing to hear, even if it is just actors on TV. I think we as humans should say it more often to each other.

I believe that there is something out there that we as humans will never understand or comprehend. Whether it is God, or Allah, or just the Universe, there is something that is bigger than our human brains can ever comprehend. Look at the beauty that surrounds you. I know that scientists feel they can explain everything away, and break it down to the smallest atom, but I think it is so much more than just atoms and particles. There is a life force in every living creature that goes beyong our understanding. What a spectacular thing the earth and its creatures are. And the idea of angels walking among us is just a bonus to add to the beauty that we can see.


So go with God (or Allah, or whatever you believe in) and peace be with you.