Day 52 - Truth and Little White Lies

Today I was honest.

Unfortunately, people don't appreciate it when you are honest.

Then again, I wasn't kind.

People really don't appreciate it when you are both honest and unkind.

But seriously, you can only bite your tongue for so long before it begins to bleed.

I've always wished I was better at confrontation. I tend to back away and smooth over any type of argument. I think that this is a very unhealthy habit. For one thing, I go around being angry while the person I'm annoyed with thinks everything is great, or worse - thinks that I approve.
Not that they need my approval, but shouldn't they know what I truly think? I mean, a real friend will tell you that yes, that dress does make your butt look big. At least, the friends that I value the most would. Who wants someone around who just tells you what you want to hear and then lets you make a fool of yourself?

Do I feel bad about being honest and unkind? Unkind - yes. Honest - no. Not to make an excuse, but all my buttons have been pushed and I am a stick of dynamite ready do explode. Ok, that's an excuse, but can I help it if a little steam escaped? Well, maybe I could have, but there's no point in crying over spilled milk. It is what it is. I'm not perfect and I'll make mistakes. Time to move on...

48 days to go.

Day 1 - Friends and French Toast

I don't make friends easily. The main reason for this is that I am a pretty reserved person. I'm not very good at just jumping into a group or conversation because I don't want to step in where I'm not invited. I'm also not good at inviting people to do things with me because I dislike being rejected. So, it got to be that I only had one close friend that lived a couple of hours away. She, of course, is extraordinarily friendly, has tons of friends, and thus, does not have much time for me. There were other friends whose relationships that I could have cultivated, but either through fear of rejection or lack of time, I never really did. I found myself wanting what television, movies, and books show what we should have. I wanted a group of friends like the gals in "Sex and the City" or "Angry Housewives Eating Bon bons". It seemed however, that everyone was already paired up around me and I just didn't really fit in with anyone.

Then I read an article in a magazine that shared ways that adult women could make new friends (it seems that it isn't really easy for any of us) and it mentioned the website meetup.com. This website allows its users to form meetup groups based on specific interests. There are women's social groups, hiking groups, book clubs, spiritual groups, and on and on and on. So I decided to step out of my box and joined a couple of meetup groups. One of them was filled with some of the most supportive, wonderful, and fantastic women and they have enriched my life in ways that I didn't even know I needed. I knew I wanted some "gal pals" to hang out with, but I didn't realize how much their support and laughter would bolster me when I was feeling angry or down. They have opened my eyes to new ideas, broadened my way of thinking, and made me realize that I have more to offer people than I ever believed. Joining this group was one of the best things I have ever done in my life.

So today I am grateful for the joy that my friends bring me. We had a wonderful brunch at La Madeline where I had some of the best french toast ever. So here's to friends and french toast - may they continue to enrich my life.

Oh, if you want to know more about meetups, you can go to www.meetup.com