Well, I made it to day 100 (which is better than I did with the wellness challenge), and I feel that I have gained a lot from my little project.
I have found 90 things that I am grateful for.
I've rediscovered how to use the Law of Attraction to get what I want from the universe.
I have removed the negative energy in my life.
I've discovered that contentment is not a bad word.
I've taken on new challenges in hobbies that I love.
I understand my role as a mother and wife better.
I've enjoyed this challenge, it has forced me to rethink joy and helped me discover more ways to bring it into my life. Am I 100% more joyful? Not really. But I am more aware of what brings me joy, and I do those things more often. I know what drains the joy from my life and I know what triggers frustration and sadness. I am now more likely to avoid those things or cut them out of my life completely.
I discovered that I have a pretty fantastic life and I have many awesome people who surround me. I have so many little things to be thankful for and I need to not focus on the big things that I cannot change.
So what's in store for me now? Well, I'm going to continue to use this blog to bring me joy. Even if no one reads my posts, I love writing them and I love knowing that I am putting forth some good karma to combat the negative energy on the Internet. I will continue to share my thoughts on joy and happiness as well as share my love of quilting and stamping. Who knows where my life will take me?
"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between man and the life he leads?" ~ Albert Camus
Monday, April 26, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Day 96 - Contentment
One thing that I have come to learn in the past 96 days is that being content doesn't mean I am settling. I used to fear the word contentment. I felt that being content wasn't the same as being happy. To me, being content meant the same as being satisfied and being satisfied meant that I'd accepted my lot in life. Which, of course, I hadn't. There was so much more that I wanted in my life and so much more that I wanted to do.
But lately I've come to realize that contentment is not the same as accepting my fate. Feeling content means that I am happy with the moment. I am mindful of what is around me and what surrounds me makes me feel good. It doesn't mean that I am settling, it means that I am accepting the gift of the moment. I can still continue to strive while enjoying what I have.
Letting go of this misconception has really changed how I create happiness in my life. Occasionally, while I am puttering about, I will think to myself, "I am content," and a feeling of warmth radiates through me. It is easier for me to accept contentment as a state of mind, than it is to believe that I am happy. I think that this is because of my misconception of happiness. I suppose to me happiness equals giddiness and since I rarely feel giddy, I thought I was never happy. Contentment on the other hand is different. Being content means that I feel good, which I have noticed is how I feel most of the time. How refreshing to finally understand that while I am not giddy with happiness, I am content and feel good. I am not settling, but I am able to accept the blessing of the moment. WOW!!
Now the definitions of happiness and contentment may be very different for you, but it has been very unburdening to finally understand how I felt about these words and how my perceptions were coloring my daily life. Do you feel there is a difference between happiness and contentment?
But lately I've come to realize that contentment is not the same as accepting my fate. Feeling content means that I am happy with the moment. I am mindful of what is around me and what surrounds me makes me feel good. It doesn't mean that I am settling, it means that I am accepting the gift of the moment. I can still continue to strive while enjoying what I have.
Letting go of this misconception has really changed how I create happiness in my life. Occasionally, while I am puttering about, I will think to myself, "I am content," and a feeling of warmth radiates through me. It is easier for me to accept contentment as a state of mind, than it is to believe that I am happy. I think that this is because of my misconception of happiness. I suppose to me happiness equals giddiness and since I rarely feel giddy, I thought I was never happy. Contentment on the other hand is different. Being content means that I feel good, which I have noticed is how I feel most of the time. How refreshing to finally understand that while I am not giddy with happiness, I am content and feel good. I am not settling, but I am able to accept the blessing of the moment. WOW!!
Now the definitions of happiness and contentment may be very different for you, but it has been very unburdening to finally understand how I felt about these words and how my perceptions were coloring my daily life. Do you feel there is a difference between happiness and contentment?
Monday, April 19, 2010
Day 93 - Accomplishment
YAY!!! Here is my first completed Cha-Cha Challenge - a purse or bag made from charm packs.
The pattern is the Charming Drawstring Beach Bag by Sheri Howard from the Moda Bakeshop. The fabric is Audrey Jeanne's Deja Brew from Studio E Fabrics. This was super easy to make, especially since it was from a charm pack and everything was pre-cut.
Here is the link to the pattern:
http://www.modabakeshop.com/2009/07/charming-drawstring-beach-bag.html
For more information about the cha-cha challenge click the button below:
I'm having a great time quilting my way through this challenge, plus my skills are getting better with each project. I can't wait to start the next one.
The pattern is the Charming Drawstring Beach Bag by Sheri Howard from the Moda Bakeshop. The fabric is Audrey Jeanne's Deja Brew from Studio E Fabrics. This was super easy to make, especially since it was from a charm pack and everything was pre-cut.
Here is the link to the pattern:
http://www.modabakeshop.com/2009/07/charming-drawstring-beach-bag.html
For more information about the cha-cha challenge click the button below:
I'm having a great time quilting my way through this challenge, plus my skills are getting better with each project. I can't wait to start the next one.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Day 92 - Rejuvenation
I've just returned from the state library conference. I really enjoy going to conference. Not just because I get to miss work for three days, but because it gives me an opportunity to learn about new things. It gets me excited about my job again. I hear speeches from some of the most creative people in my profession, and I get to meet a few of my favorite authors. I visit with vendors who may be able to provide products to make my job easier or more fun. My first TLA conference is where I fell in love with storytelling. I've even met Julie Andrews and gotten her to sign a book for me (For those of you who don't know, Julie Andrews has been a writer for quite a long time. She writes under the name, Julie Andrews Edwards).
I think it's important to take some time to rejuvenate yourself. The conference isn't always convenient and it can be expensive, but it is always worth it. I return home with a renewed sense of purpose. I feel excited not only about the current school year but about the next one also.
So if there is something you are passionate about, but are feeling a bit unmotivated or burned out, see if you can attend a conference or class. It may just rekindle the spark you are missing.
I think it's important to take some time to rejuvenate yourself. The conference isn't always convenient and it can be expensive, but it is always worth it. I return home with a renewed sense of purpose. I feel excited not only about the current school year but about the next one also.
So if there is something you are passionate about, but are feeling a bit unmotivated or burned out, see if you can attend a conference or class. It may just rekindle the spark you are missing.
Day 90 - Gratitude Check
Ten more things I'm grateful for (we've almost made it to 100!)
81. library conferences
82. library friends who motivate and inspire me
83. SparkPeople - if you need motivation to improve your lifestyle, this is a great website. http://www.sparkpeople.com/
84. The Happiness Project - by Gretchen Rubin
85. Advance Reader Copies of books - getting to read books before anyone can buy them is fun
86. my parents
87. storytellers
88. fabric - so many fun patterns
89. Good movies
90. People who have the courage to just go for it.
81. library conferences
82. library friends who motivate and inspire me
83. SparkPeople - if you need motivation to improve your lifestyle, this is a great website. http://www.sparkpeople.com/
84. The Happiness Project - by Gretchen Rubin
85. Advance Reader Copies of books - getting to read books before anyone can buy them is fun
86. my parents
87. storytellers
88. fabric - so many fun patterns
89. Good movies
90. People who have the courage to just go for it.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Day 85 - Blessings
There are only fifteen more days to my challenge so I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane and write about some of my best memories.
1. Living in Germany - My dad was stationed in Germany when I was 18 months to 3 years old. I don't have any specific memories, but there are certain impressions that fill me with joy when I think about them. The little old lady who lived above us, that I called Ya-ya. I have warm thoughts about her. I think she would give me strawberries. There was also a swing that I loved. I remember ice and snow (which I have not had very much of in my life since then), and apparently I was so attached to my snow boots that I refused to wear anything else.
2. My Spring Show solo my senior year - It was a wonderful moment that I was so proud of. I felt loved, cherished, and important to all the people who had been important to me. I was able to communicate through dance all that I was feeling as a graduating senior. Excitement, sadness, hope, fear, and nostalgia. The applause and accolades at the end confirmed that the choices I had made as a growing woman were worth it and that I was respected by more people than I had ever thought possible.
3. Going to New Orleans - I still have so many fond memories of this trip. It was just my parents, my brother, and my friend. We had so much fun, and I got to experience so many new things.
4. My Wedding Day - I really did have a picture perfect wedding. Everything was fabulous, from the decorations that my family (mostly my mom) set up, to the dress, the cake, and the dancing. And we didn't even have alcohol! (at only 20 - I was underage)
5. The birth of my son - He was two weeks early and I drove all the way to Navasota to make sure all my dance team girls got to the game safely, then drove all the way to downtown Houston for the delivery. Holding him for the first time was magical.
6. The birth of my daughter - My daughter was five weeks early and I was worried about any complications she might have. Not only that, but we were supposed to move that weekend. I can't even explain the emotions that I had when I heard her cry for the first time. Amazingly, she had absolutely NO complications. She was and is a determined little girl.
7. Playing outside as a child - I was always outside when I was a kid. I would take my dolls on picnics, explore fantasy worlds, and hang out in my club under a huge oak tree.
8. Getting my first job as a librarian - I was't fully certified and I had already been through two interviews at this school. Then I had been told that I couldn't be hired because I didn't have my certification yet. When I went in for the third interview and then was told I had gotten the job, I was ecstatic. I will always be grateful to that principal for taking a chance on me.
There are so many more, but I don't have the room to write about every single happy memory that I have. The point is, I have been blessed in so many ways. Often, we get bogged down in the negativity and focus on the bad things that surround us. I will often find myself festering over an argument or put-down instead of focusing on the compliments and postive relationships that I have recieved. We as humans are very strange. I can remember almost every time someone has hurt my feelings, but I have a harder time recalling when someone has uplifted me. Crazy. By looking at these wonderful memories, it helps to remind me that I have a pretty fantastic life and allows me to more easily shut out the negativity that not only surrounds me, but is also in my head.
1. Living in Germany - My dad was stationed in Germany when I was 18 months to 3 years old. I don't have any specific memories, but there are certain impressions that fill me with joy when I think about them. The little old lady who lived above us, that I called Ya-ya. I have warm thoughts about her. I think she would give me strawberries. There was also a swing that I loved. I remember ice and snow (which I have not had very much of in my life since then), and apparently I was so attached to my snow boots that I refused to wear anything else.
2. My Spring Show solo my senior year - It was a wonderful moment that I was so proud of. I felt loved, cherished, and important to all the people who had been important to me. I was able to communicate through dance all that I was feeling as a graduating senior. Excitement, sadness, hope, fear, and nostalgia. The applause and accolades at the end confirmed that the choices I had made as a growing woman were worth it and that I was respected by more people than I had ever thought possible.
3. Going to New Orleans - I still have so many fond memories of this trip. It was just my parents, my brother, and my friend. We had so much fun, and I got to experience so many new things.
4. My Wedding Day - I really did have a picture perfect wedding. Everything was fabulous, from the decorations that my family (mostly my mom) set up, to the dress, the cake, and the dancing. And we didn't even have alcohol! (at only 20 - I was underage)
5. The birth of my son - He was two weeks early and I drove all the way to Navasota to make sure all my dance team girls got to the game safely, then drove all the way to downtown Houston for the delivery. Holding him for the first time was magical.
6. The birth of my daughter - My daughter was five weeks early and I was worried about any complications she might have. Not only that, but we were supposed to move that weekend. I can't even explain the emotions that I had when I heard her cry for the first time. Amazingly, she had absolutely NO complications. She was and is a determined little girl.
7. Playing outside as a child - I was always outside when I was a kid. I would take my dolls on picnics, explore fantasy worlds, and hang out in my club under a huge oak tree.
8. Getting my first job as a librarian - I was't fully certified and I had already been through two interviews at this school. Then I had been told that I couldn't be hired because I didn't have my certification yet. When I went in for the third interview and then was told I had gotten the job, I was ecstatic. I will always be grateful to that principal for taking a chance on me.
There are so many more, but I don't have the room to write about every single happy memory that I have. The point is, I have been blessed in so many ways. Often, we get bogged down in the negativity and focus on the bad things that surround us. I will often find myself festering over an argument or put-down instead of focusing on the compliments and postive relationships that I have recieved. We as humans are very strange. I can remember almost every time someone has hurt my feelings, but I have a harder time recalling when someone has uplifted me. Crazy. By looking at these wonderful memories, it helps to remind me that I have a pretty fantastic life and allows me to more easily shut out the negativity that not only surrounds me, but is also in my head.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Cha Cha Challenge
Last year, a wonderful co-worker of mine taught me how to quilt. I had always wanted to learn, and was very excited to finally get started. Since then, I have made a few little projects; my first being a table runner. I am still very much a beginner, but I just love this new hobby. I love the fabrics and the patterns. I love cutting fabric into tiny pieces just to put them all back together again and new and amazing ways.
I am going to try my first quilt challenge. Nothing brings more joy than doing something you love. I am going to join the Cha Cha Challenge that is being put on by Stitchin' Heaven. Yippie! I can't wait to get started!
I am going to try my first quilt challenge. Nothing brings more joy than doing something you love. I am going to join the Cha Cha Challenge that is being put on by Stitchin' Heaven. Yippie! I can't wait to get started!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Day 80 - Gratitude Check
Ten more things I'm grateful for:
71. romance authors
72. cute summer dresses
73. Dressbarn - despite their name, their clothes are fantastic!
74. last-minute vacations
75. upcoming vacations - so much to look forward to
76. independent bookstores
77. independent shops of any kind - support your local businesses!
78. jewelry
79. Texas Library Association Annual Conference
80. my outdoor cats who love to sit with me in the gazebo
71. romance authors
72. cute summer dresses
73. Dressbarn - despite their name, their clothes are fantastic!
74. last-minute vacations
75. upcoming vacations - so much to look forward to
76. independent bookstores
77. independent shops of any kind - support your local businesses!
78. jewelry
79. Texas Library Association Annual Conference
80. my outdoor cats who love to sit with me in the gazebo
Friday, April 2, 2010
Day 76 - Opposites Attract
My husband made a comment the other night that I am making so many changes lately he just can't keep up with me. This was in response to my fortune cookie that said that I will make many changes before settling satisfactorily. At first I was a bit confused because I haven't REALLY made any changes in the past few months. When he elaborated on his comment, I realized that he was commenting on my daydreaming and not on anything that I had actually done. The only thing that I have actually changed recently is my attitude and my reaction to the things in my life. I haven't actually done ANY of the things he was talking about: having a third child, opening a bookstore, getting a new car, moving, or getting a tattoo. I've talked about them, I've considered them, but I haven't done any of them.
This just goes to show how different my husband and I are. I am a daydreamer. He is incredibly practical. He is about providing for his family and earning a paycheck. I am about inspiration and making a difference in the world. I don't know how he can stand his job, and he doesn't understand mine. We don't really share any interests or hobbies - he's into cars and Ghost Hunters, and watching television, while I'm into crafts such as sewing and stamping, reading, and avoiding the TV as much as possible. I'm a bit of a neat freak and he's a clutter bug (although he will deny it). I'm fairly quiet and reserved while he will make friends with the guy standing behind him at the post office.
Despite all this, I love him. I love his steadfastness and his desire to build a good life for his family. I love how he looks at me in a way that makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. When I want to try something new, he encourages me to reach for my dreams. I think that without him, my life would be emptier in ways that I can not even comprehend. He definitely is part of me now, and I could not imagine where my life would be without him.
But I strongly feel that having a husband does not necessarily make my life complete, and it does not define me as a person. As an avid reader of fairy tales and romance novels, I had always felt that once I was married and had kids my life would be a series of happily-ever-afters. But then I realized, having a husband didn't mean that I had someone who always understood me. Just because I had a husband didn't mean we were always partners. Having a husband doesn't make my life perfect, or easy, or better. The chicks in romance novels seemed to need nothing more than a man and sex. The chemistry was always there, they always adored their man, and their man always cherished them. Why wasn't my relationship like that? Duh - I realized that my life isn't a romance novel, and that real life and a real marriage are hard work. It takes constant compromise and negotiation. You have to work with another person without sacrificing your own happiness. In real life - there is no such thing as a happily-ever-after because life goes on and life will consist of a series of ups an downs. If you're lucky, it doesn't end for a very long time.
I determine my own happiness, and I cannot rely on others to make me happy. There is so much more to me than my marriage. My husband has a piece of my heart and soul, but he does not have all of it. My children have a part of it, my extended family has a part, my friends have a part, and there is even a small part that I keep for myself. I give some of myself to my job and the students that surround me and I give some of myself to my future dreams and goals. I am me - a little quirky and a little nerdy, but more than just one relationship. If I allow my marriage to consume me, then I am no longer myself, I am only us. If I focus all of my energy on only one aspect of my life, then all the others will whither from neglect. If I become only what my husband expects of me, then I am no longer who I was really meant to be. Knowing this, I feel that I am a better wife. I am not just a yes man for my husband, but a strong and independent woman that he can admire. I am a whole person, not his doormat. I am stronger and happier, and thus better able to communicate my needs as well as compromise without bearing any grudge. I am able to love with a complete and open heart, knowing that what we really have is more than just love. It is a true commitment, for better or worse and able to withstand whatever changes may come its way.
This just goes to show how different my husband and I are. I am a daydreamer. He is incredibly practical. He is about providing for his family and earning a paycheck. I am about inspiration and making a difference in the world. I don't know how he can stand his job, and he doesn't understand mine. We don't really share any interests or hobbies - he's into cars and Ghost Hunters, and watching television, while I'm into crafts such as sewing and stamping, reading, and avoiding the TV as much as possible. I'm a bit of a neat freak and he's a clutter bug (although he will deny it). I'm fairly quiet and reserved while he will make friends with the guy standing behind him at the post office.
Despite all this, I love him. I love his steadfastness and his desire to build a good life for his family. I love how he looks at me in a way that makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. When I want to try something new, he encourages me to reach for my dreams. I think that without him, my life would be emptier in ways that I can not even comprehend. He definitely is part of me now, and I could not imagine where my life would be without him.
But I strongly feel that having a husband does not necessarily make my life complete, and it does not define me as a person. As an avid reader of fairy tales and romance novels, I had always felt that once I was married and had kids my life would be a series of happily-ever-afters. But then I realized, having a husband didn't mean that I had someone who always understood me. Just because I had a husband didn't mean we were always partners. Having a husband doesn't make my life perfect, or easy, or better. The chicks in romance novels seemed to need nothing more than a man and sex. The chemistry was always there, they always adored their man, and their man always cherished them. Why wasn't my relationship like that? Duh - I realized that my life isn't a romance novel, and that real life and a real marriage are hard work. It takes constant compromise and negotiation. You have to work with another person without sacrificing your own happiness. In real life - there is no such thing as a happily-ever-after because life goes on and life will consist of a series of ups an downs. If you're lucky, it doesn't end for a very long time.
I determine my own happiness, and I cannot rely on others to make me happy. There is so much more to me than my marriage. My husband has a piece of my heart and soul, but he does not have all of it. My children have a part of it, my extended family has a part, my friends have a part, and there is even a small part that I keep for myself. I give some of myself to my job and the students that surround me and I give some of myself to my future dreams and goals. I am me - a little quirky and a little nerdy, but more than just one relationship. If I allow my marriage to consume me, then I am no longer myself, I am only us. If I focus all of my energy on only one aspect of my life, then all the others will whither from neglect. If I become only what my husband expects of me, then I am no longer who I was really meant to be. Knowing this, I feel that I am a better wife. I am not just a yes man for my husband, but a strong and independent woman that he can admire. I am a whole person, not his doormat. I am stronger and happier, and thus better able to communicate my needs as well as compromise without bearing any grudge. I am able to love with a complete and open heart, knowing that what we really have is more than just love. It is a true commitment, for better or worse and able to withstand whatever changes may come its way.
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